The good news: I'm learning to be less concerned about my own story and more concerned with other people's on my mission. The bad news: I'm a terrible blogger.

But here's a mini-miracle for you:

At district meeting (our district is made up of the most experienced missionaries in the mission... aka, the assistants to the president, the lead sister training leaders, zone leaders and district leaders... and then there is us newbies) a training was given about seeking referrals in a more excellent way. That members are not referral machines, but spirit-inspired people. When the zone leader demonstrated this for us, they prepped their "members" (the AP missionaries) teaching them how the Lord really does prepare people for the gospel, and then explaining that after the message they would ask about families who would be prepared for the gospel. Basically they promised this pretend family that pure inspiration would come during the message. It was an inspiring, spirit filled role-play and I felt so excited to try it out.

At dinner last night I was so nervous promising this family that the spirit would prompt them with people. That takes guts and trust in God. And we did it. Sister Hatch and I taught the member message in great unity, and when we came to the end and asked who came to mind, our members said, "Well, no one comes to mind."

I remained confident and reassured them that answers take time and come with prayer. As we kept talking, I felt the Spirit there like a cheerful, calm presence, especially when the father began to share an experience he had this past year. On the way to work he talked with a taxi driver about the gospel. After work he felt prompted to bring out a Book of Mormon with him, and then miraculously, out of thousands, had that same driver for the ride home, and was able to give him a Book of Mormon.

After that brought tears to his eyes, the mother shared what she'd learned in Relief Society about giving away copies of the Book of Mormon and she looked excited and motivated. Then the father said, "Hey, I have 5 managers at my work that I see monthly. I could give each of them a Book of Mormon and then follow up next month with them." And then as the mother was giving us a ride to our next destination, she said, "I just remembered there's a man who lives next to us; he rides around the neighborhood in his wheelchair. A woman in the other ward talked to him about the gospel and told us to go meet him. She said he's really interested. I forgot about that. There's another name!" She and I grinned at each other and I said, "The Spirit works!"

That was a testimony builder, that if we just try our best to do what we learn, then God will provide the rest. Missionaries who show forth faith really can make promises and the Lord will fulfill them, because really our role as missionaries is to just invite the Spirit. Sister Hatch continues to be an amazing example to me of humble charity. I have seen us wind up in the right place at the right time to help someone who is struggling because of the way she leads out the area. We both are just children when it comes to understanding missionary work and how to teach people with all the special missionary techniques, but we have firm testimonies of our Savior Jesus Christ, and that outweighs any inadequacy.

And on that note, I can't believe how far I have come from that perfectionist, timid, straight A student of my first letter home. I guess I can say of that Sister Rowley, as Shakespeare's character (a character even quoted in LDS General Conference) said, "'Twas I, but 'tis not I. I do not shame to tell you what I was, since my conversion." I stand all amazed at what Christ has done for me and continues to do for me when I put my focus on him and not on me throughout this mission. I continue to need Him every day.

The world is a mess. It needs a Messiah.

We're all fallen, so He tells us to follow.

I can't have a testimony... unless my faith has been tested.

And you can lead others because you are led.

Love,

Sister Rowley